Sunday, May 3, 2015

Fun pictures of Maryam

Maryam & Molly
Maryam chilling at the bowling center

New Year 2015

As is tradition, we spent NYE with my best friend and her family. This year we were at her new, beautiful home. We had fun in our pjs. The kids performed for us!

Kids doing silly faces

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Christmas 2014

Our Christmas card photo :)
My babies & me!
Jax & Olaf
My Maryam
Christmas Eve
Christmas morning 
Christmas dinner

Maryam's birthday

We redesigned Maryam's room for her birthday. She's not a princess and Barbie kind of girl. She's a video games and books girl. I decided to embrace her passion and nurture her choices by designing her bedroom in Mario Kart decor! My BFF created the 8 bit pink toad 3D Art. Maryam's aunt Brande painted the red & green abstract toads& I did the star. Maryam's uncle Justin & Auntie Lynn got her the wall decals. Mommy made the quilt. The room looks great! More importantly, she LOVES it. 
Books from Auntie Sarah
Art from Chrissy
Milky from Momom, Popop, Uncle JJ, & Auntie Brande
Maryam blowing out the candle on her birthday fudge. 
Maryam& her BFF Anna

Playing catch up

 Loads have happened since I last updated my blog. Not sure why I stopped. Lack of time, lack of motivation, both. Who knows? Who cares? It's interesting and sad that the blog went from being such a huge part of my life, to not a part of my life at all. I think I have some insight as to why I stopped blogging. 
I used to blog so that my family & friends could stay up to date on the life & times of Maryam. Much of her life was lived minute to minute, pound to pound. Once I established that she was "healthy" and going to "make it", the blog became more about me. It was an opportunity for me to show off Maryam. To encourage other preemie moms to hang in there. Let them know, if we can do it, so can you! 
I used my blog as a way to help with my crushing depression, PTSD, and help with an ego that needed a huge boost. I enjoyed the compliments from family, friends, & strangers telling me what an amazing mother I am. I loved hearing how inspiring Maryam was, & how so many loved reading her story and talking about her. 
Id like to say that I've grown out of it.  I haven't. And the more time I spend on Face Book, the more aware I have become that I'm not the only mother who seeks the approval of their friends and family. All through my news feed I see photos of mothers with their kids at different functions. They might as well caption it, "Look at me! I'm the best mother in the world!" I see pictures of sick kids, "Strongest kid I know." Kids on awards day, standing on stage holding up their awards, or standing with their mothers who may be more proud of their child, than the child is of themselves. 
When you click on the comments section of any of these posts, they all look similar, "You're such a good Mama!", "I don't know how you do it!", "Way to go, so proud of you both!" Which are all things EVERY mother wants to hear. 
Like I said before, I'm not over it. My Face Book page is chalk full of photos of my children. Post after post of, "My kids are amazing!", another lost tooth, another award, another mother/daughter function, another family outing, another sick kid.
All of these posts are designed to get the most Likes, get the most compliments, find out how many people can feel sorry for me, in essence, boost my ego. The bigger question though is, why? Why do I need your approval? Why do I have to read how amazing of a mother I am, why is it so important to me for others to see how amazing my children are?
I think it goes back to what I was talking about earlier, crushing depression, PTSD, and a much needed ego boost. I know that's why I do it. Now I'm wondering why everyone else does. Do we all need an ego boost? Do we all need to hear how amazing we are doing mothering our children? Do we all need everyone to think, "How do they do it all?" 
Sounds like we all need what I need. I need to hear I'm a good mother. I need to hear, "Wow! How do you do it all?" 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Bridgeport Trip

The family went up to Bridgeport to watch Uncle JJ's change of command ceremony. We had fun! We went out for dinner for Trip'sbirthday too. The kids had loads of fun with their cousins. 
Our little family 
Our kiddos
Traveling. Jax gets car sick really bad. This is him asleep from the Dramamine. 
Breakfast on the lake 

Preschool graduation and First Grade Awards Assembly

Here are some pictures from May when Jax graduated from preschool. 
Our little family
Our little graduate
Jax and his Baby BFF, Squishy (Colin)
Maryam won an Outstanding Character Award at the end of the year awards assembly 
Mommy & Punkin

Thursday, May 15, 2014

First grade field trip

The first graders at Maryam's school took a field trip to the Living Desert. Fortunately my new job is flexible enough that I was able to go along! I love going to the kids' activities. I like watching them interact with other kids and seeing their faces when they learn something new. It's one of the better parts of being a parent. 
Here's the lunch bag Maryam made for her trip. So sweet!! 
Here we are watching an educational show. It was fun & informative. 
Isn't she just the cutest? I mean, seriously! :)
Maryam and some of her classmates. 
The elusive Big Horn Sheep!
There were three that made their way toward us. 
It was a good day. 

Sunday, April 27, 2014


We decided to take the kiddos to Disneyland to finish Spring Break. Apparently everybody else had the same plan! That joint was packed! Yowza!
Maryam & Auntie MayMay waiting in line at Pixie Hollow to meet Tinkerbell. Brett, Jax, & Mayda's son Austin rode Peter Pan while we did this. 
Maryam & Rosetta
Next we went to Star Tours, it's a family favorite!
After that we had a snack. Maryam likes the beignets at Disneyland and who am I to deprive her of such a delicious snack? 
Aftter snacks we went to the Royal Theater at the Princess Fantasy Faire and saw a Beauty & the Beast show. The kids really enjoyed it! 
When that was over we headed to Toon Town. The kids watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit on Friday and wanted to go see Toon Town today. 
Auntie MayMay held our place in line to see Mickey's Magic Map
Stage Show while we were in Toon Town. The showed ended up being very good. I highly recommend it! 
When the show was over we went to the Tiki Room and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It was the kiddos first time ever riding it! They loved it!! 
We had a great day! We're all sad to see Spring Break come to an end but we enjoyed every minute of it!