Why I shouldn't be asked to dog sit

This is Levi. Levi used to have a cousin named Jed. Last time I was asked to dogie sit Levi ended up in the pound and Jed disappeared. I'm not joking...DISAPPEARED. I'm sure he's dead somewhere in the desert. Yeah, I'm a jerk. We bailed Levi out of the pound and tried very hard to keep him alive.

Last week we were asked to dogie sit again. I think that Christi secretly wants Levi dead and hopes that by asking me I will some how kill him. He did not die. However, I thought she might kill him when she got home and saw what he did to the trim around her front door. Oh and crushed the door knob.

Moral of the story, don't ask me to dogie sit. Odds are your dog will die, end up in the pound or destroy your house. Sometimes, all three. Oops.