MARYAM EATING PIZZA

Yep, you're looking at Maryam eating pizza! Pepperoni pizza! Holding the pizza in her hand, eating the cheese, sauce, bread and pepperoni all together!!!!

I didn't have to cut it up into tiny pieces. I didn't have to bribe her to eat it! She just picked it up, and started eating it!

I know her face doesn't show how much she enjoyed it, but trust me. Maryam ate EVERY bite! Even the crust.

She has come a VERY LONG way! We owe it all to her feeding team at CHOC and various OT's. They changed our lives in a way that words just can't describe. I use to stay up nights crying, screaming and yelling. I spent hours in front of the computer on the Internet looking for solutions. I'd cry to her OT's. I bought different spoons, forks and bottles. I was desperate. I was depressed. I was angry. I wasn't angry at Maryam! I knew it wasn't her fault! I still know that. I know that the beginning of her life was traumatic. She never got the chance to learn to eat. She never cried for a bottle. She never said the words, "I'm hungry."
Now, after the good people at the CHOC feeding clinic intervened, Maryam is a different person, as am I. I took her inability to eat very personally. I blamed myself for things I had no control over. Logically I knew it wasn't my fault, but I had to blame something and I was my easiest target. Today Maryam doesn't even remember her feeding tube! She has no recollection of us ever attaching it to the button in her belly. As far as she knows, she's always been an eater. Now she will tell me she's hungry as a stall tactic for going to bed! She'd rather EAT than go to sleep! Every time she eats something, a tiny little miracle happens. I cannot be more proud of Maryam. I'm extremely lucky to know such a strong little girl. I'm even luckier to be her mommy.

Maryam has an appointment on Monday with her GI doc and the nurse practitioner from the CHOC feeding team. I'll blog about how it goes.