Maryam's recital

The morning of Maryam's recital, my tummy was in knots! I was nervous for her! The past few weeks leading up to the recital had been rough. It seemed that every week at dance class she was having these break downs. She'd just freak out and stop dancing and stop wanting to participate. 
Brett, Chrissy, my mom and other moms from the class pointed out that its "age appropriate" and that at least 1 girl a week freaked out. But what I noticed is that Maryam was doing it every week. I also noticed that it wasn't just happening at dance. It was starting to happen at t-ball, out at dinner and in stores while shopping.
I think its a combination of her age, her Sensory Integration Disorder and lack of coping skills. I have since started working with her on sensory stuff. I started doing her joint compressions and brushing. I've started having her march, run or do jumping jacks when I see her start to show signs that she needs to. I'm already seeing a difference. 
Right now my big concern is figuring out how to teach her coping skills. It almost seems like she missed that step in her development.  I know many kids go through it. Almost like she hasn't matured in that area. I want to help her, I just don't know how. I'm at a loss. I feel like, for the first time in all that she's been through in her short life, I don't know how to help her. I hate admitting this, but I feel like I have failed.
Maryam didn't finish her ballet dance. She says she lost her spot and didn't know what to do. Instead of lining up some place different, like all the other girls did, she stood in the back and cried. She didn't get to finish the dance that the day before, she finished perfectly. I was sad and scared for her. When I got back stage she was inconsolable. She was crying for me.
After I finally got her to calm down she explained what happened. I talked her through what to do if it happened again. I explained what was going to happen next with as much detail as possible so there wouldn't be any surprises. After I left her back stage, I stood in the back of the room and waited. When the curtains opened and the music started I began to shake and my eyes filled with tears. I don't think I took a breath until she finished the routine. Thankfully she finished the routine and she did it perfectly!