Sigh, I sighed all Sunday night while I helped Maryam pick out which dress she wanted to wear for her first day of school. I sighed as I helped her decide what to put in her lunchbox. I sighed as I brushed her teeth and got her good night snack ready. I sighed as I hung up her backpack next to my keys and purse. Sigh, sigh, sigh
I sighed after I tucked her in and we went through our "I Love You's" routine.
Me- I love you
M- I love you too
Me- I love you more
M- I love you most
I sighed after I gave her a cup of water and one last good night kiss. I sighed as I walked down the hall and sat on the couch. Then I sighed one last time right before I started to cry.
I think milestones are one of those things that are very difficult for mothers. I think part of us doesn't want our little babies to grow up. But I think the control freak in us is actually afraid. Afraid that we won't be their protector all day, everyday anymore. Now they're in the hands of their teachers. We aren't there to protect them from bullies or to kiss their knees when they fall down on the playground or open their chip bag at lunch.
To me, Maryam is one of a kind. My little girl. My miracle. The baby that lived when lets face it, no one really thought she would. Now she's one of 32 other children. She's just another face in the crowd. That kills me. I totally get why people homeschool. I'm terrified. I feel like I've spent every waking moment since 5:26 pm on December 9, 2006 keeping her alive.
Needless to say, I'm having a difficult time with Maryam starting school.
In good news, she is not! We've done such a great job installing confidence and independence that she had no problem with going to school! She was excited about meeting her teacher, finding her seat with her name on it, and meeting new friends. She didn't understand why some of the other children were crying. She asked why they were sad and crying. She was content with our response and told us she was going to have fun in kindergarten.
When the teacher told the parents that it was time to go, I sighed again, gave my punkin a hug and a kiss and tried to hold my composure until I got out of the door. I failed. As soon as I turned away from her, the tears began to roll down my cheeks. Thank goodness for sunglasses.
Four hours later I went to pick her up. She came walking out with the line of kids riding the bus. She was disappointed to learn that she wouldn't be riding the bus home. She had a good day. She ate almost all of her lunch! Papa and I took the kids to get ice cream cones to celebrate Maryam's first day of kindergarten.
|Eating her pancake|
|Posing for a picture|
|Maryam and Merric in their seats|
|drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast|
|Boogie and Daddy|
|Mommy and The Punkin|
|Mrs. Ritz and Maryam|
|Sissy and Brother|
|Heading into class|
|Dropping off her backpack|