Jax update

I called Jax's pediatrician and urologist Monday morning. We scheduled an appointment with the pediatrician at 3:00 pm Monday. I left a message for the urologist. Around noon or so the urologist's office called to schedule an appointment for Jax. His appointment is for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30 in San Diego.
I took Jax to his pediatrician where he went over the test results from the ER visit. He looked back at Jax's last ultrasound from urology in June 2011. The report from June said the hydronephrosis was mild to moderate with a slight increase. The report from the ER Saturday said moderate to severe. Damn. The pediatrician agreed that the pain is most likely the kidney.
He did give me some further input. He said that the radiologist from the ER might have a different opinion of what moderate to severe is from the urologist's opinion. But he did say there are general guidelines that they all follow. He also said that if the urologist might order more tests to be done. A VCUG or ultrasound, both of which Jax done before. The VCUG is a nuclear scan. :( He also said surgery could be in our future if the urologist agrees with the radiologists findings. He said IF he disagrees, which he's fairly certain he won't, then I have to bring him back in to try to figure out what the pain is. Great. So, now I'm not sure if I'm rooting for it to be the kidney or some unknown source of pain.
The past 4 days have been crappy. I've been reliving every time I remember Jax saying his belly hurt. I remembered that on Friday he complained that his back hurt. I just thought it was his diaper scratching him or something. I couldn't find anything and told him to run along. He ran along alright but his left hand stayed over the left side of his back where his scar from his last kidney surgeries are. Bad mommy.
I also keep thinking about my stupid new year resolution. Trying to be super positive I resolved to no hospital stays or surgeries in the year 2012. It just made sense! The only surgery free year we've had since 2006 was 2008! Thats a pretty crappy statistic.
The weird thing I don't usually let this stuff get to me. Strangely this has gotten me down. It's my own fault. I finally, after 5+ years got comfortable. Silly me. I thought we were out of the woods. Silly me. I'm going to try to keep my chin up, slap a smile on my face and hope for the best. Right now "the best" would be no surgery but a definite diagnosis of what is causing the pain.
Wish us luck! (she says with a big giant grin on her face)