Happy Birthday Baby Boy

September 11, 2009 at 7:56 pm our Jax came into this world. I thought my heart was as full of love as it could possibly be.  I took one look at my tiny little 4 pound boy and my heart grew larger.  I was admittedly scared of having another child.  I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved Maryam.  My brain just couldn't fathom it.  I almost felt bad for him, because I knew he'd never be loved as much as his sister.  I'm happy to say I was wrong.  I love him with all of me.  Like her, I would give my life and soul for his health and happiness.
I was scared to death of having another child for more than the reason I stated above.  I was afraid for my life and mental well being. I had severe PTSD from going through what we went through with Maryam.  I was living in paralyzing fear of going through it again.  I was afraid that Maryam would have to grow up without her mommy.  I was afraid of having to hear the high frequency ventilator again, or any ventilator for that matter.  I was afraid of a long hospital stay.  I was afraid of surgeries, medicines, blood transfusions, x-rays, infection, and mostly I was afraid of having another non-eater.  I'm very grateful to say that none of my fears were realized.  Jax was born perfectly healthy!  He never needed oxygen support.  He only had a feeding tube for a few days and I took it out everyday because I HATED it and feared it.  He was only in the hospital for 13 days.  He didn't have any x-rays, blood transfusions or infections.  And awesomely he was a GREAT eater.  He started nursing right off the bat! Yay!
I've learned so much from Jax in the past 3 years. Before I had Jax I never believed those who said that boys were so different than girls.  I always believed it was a nature vs. nurture thing.  I thought that if you nurtured a boy the same way you nurtured a girl, they had to be the same.  I've never been more wrong about anything in my entire life.  Boys are in almost every way different than girls.
I've learned that forgiveness can be as easy as a mommy spanking her little boy for punching his sister and then asking mommy to go play dinosaurs with him and sister volunteering to play too.  I've learned that a siblings love for each other starts out beautiful and what happens to it over time can be really sad.  I've learned that boys really are harder to potty train than girls are.  I've learned that just because your first child did something at a certain age doesn't mean the second child will too!  I've learned that God did me a favor by giving me Maryam first.  I've learned that raising two children is exponentially more difficult than one and exponentially more expensive too.  ;) I've learned that quality time as a family is just as important as Mommy and Baby time. 
I think Jax was born with the ability to make sound affects for animals, cars, trucks, guns and dinosaurs.  I think Jax was born with the knowledge of how to rough house.  I think Jax was born ready to run, jump, stomp, tumble, wrestle, and fall down.
I think Jax was one of the best things to ever happen to me.  He's a delight.  He's funny.  He's smart.  He's adorable.  He's sweet.  He loves dinosaurs.  He loves trains. He loves cars.  He loves playing outside just as much as he likes playing inside, maybe more.  He loves riding his scooter.  He loves swimming.  He loves riding his bike.  He loves reading.  He loves games.  He loves his family and ADORES his Sissy.

September 11, 2009

1st birthday 2010

2nd birthday 2011

3rd birthday 2012

I'm very lucky to say I know him, I'm even luckier to call him my son.